Take Five

by Dave Brubeck Quartet

Want to hear more Dave Brubeck?

Drummer Joe Morello shows some real chops in that video.  I like his style.

You should get acquainted with some jazz if you aren’t. I am not a jazz snob or anything…just suggesting to the good people, my readers, that there is some great music in the jazz world.

You will see more jazz in the future of cool song of the week.  But not next week.  Where will go in the world of music next week?  Check back in to find out!

The United States is quickly becoming a police state. Have a nice day.

Anyway, this man when requesting the border patrol agent offer a little common courtesy was pepper sprayed.  That’ll show that stupid Candadian to lip off.  Spray him in the eyes with a caustic material and then hold him for a bully session for three hours.

Thanks for your services, assholes. I will sleep better at night knowing this is how you ensure national security.

For instance, The Drudge Report has posted two articles:

Obama Ready to Talk Global New Deal with UK PM, Security for Families in “Every Country”

The special relationship is going global by Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of England

What is wrong with these insane people who question the government?  Just because these articles clearly show the intent to move toward global policies by government doesn’t mean the government intends on establishing global policies.

These kooks say the dumbest things. So what if conspiracy theorists  have called out such things as Obama being next President shortly following his DNC speech in 2004 or JFKs assassination investigation being shady or that the Gulf of Tonkin smelled fishy or that the Council on Foreign Relations play a part in global policy.  They even had some crazy prediction that a group of world elites met every year in secret to discuss world policy… but normal people know they are all crazy. Every single conspiracy theory and every single person who even considers a theory contrary to the officiall news brought to you by major networks is stupid.   I mean, come on…these kooks even nicknamed this so-called elite group who met each year the Bilderberg Group.  What nutballs.That could never be true. I mean…the news had ignored it for decades, then denied it completely, then said maybe there was a possibility… So it can’t be true.

These kooks even said that politicians use crisis and the war on terror as a fear mongering tactic to take our liberty away with things like the Patriot Act. What idiots!

I am so tired of these people and their habit of questioning everything.  Besides, they are such nerds. They like to read and stuff. They are all interested in our government, current events and what goes on in the world. Lame!

I have a life.  I have to keep up with my fantasy football team, watch Family Guy & beat off to my Dave Matthews poster. I don’t have any time to be concerned about a government who could change my entire way of being.

—

Note:    There is a wide variety of crazy fuckers out there. This includes  individuals who have some way out there theories like certain world leaders are actually a species of reptile aliens.  There are other crazy fuckers who actually believe the government never lies to them.  The point of this goofy little post is that just because there are some crazy theories out there, doesn’t mean ALL theories are wrong.

I am concerned that the world may end up in a bad place someday all because people were afraid to consider or say “someone is conspiring against us”.

]]> http://mindstew.wordpress.com/2009/03/02/new-world-order-kooks-claim-new-global-policies-mean-presence-of-global-government/feed/ 0 StewartGray http://mindstew.wordpress.com/2009/03/02/stewart-grays-cool-song-of-the-week-2/ http://mindstew.wordpress.com/2009/03/02/stewart-grays-cool-song-of-the-week-2/#comments Mon, 02 Mar 2009 05:18:08 +0000 Stewart Gray http://mindstew.wordpress.com/?p=157 ]]> This week’s cool song of the week is….

King of The World

by Steely Dan

King of The World – Lyrics

This song is featured on Countdown to Ecstasy

I figure since the world is off its rocker and in a general state of madness, this is a fitting tune for the times from one of my favorite bands.  There will be more Steely Dan featured in my cool songs I am sure.

I can’t thank Steely Dan enough for being Steely Dan.  Thank you Mr. Fagen & Mr. Becker.

Global warming theory, the theory that human activity is causing the earth to warm to environmentally dangerous levels was made popular by Al Gore shortly after he invented the internet.   This is precisely the reason many believe in the theory.  A man that can invent the internet in his spare time while being a career politician and then turn around and know the human activity is ruining the planet without conducting any science of his own is obviously a man people must trust for information of this magnitude.

Global warming deniers claim that because global warming cannot explain a trend opposite to that of global warming theory, global warming theorists and believers have conveniently changed the name of global warming to global climate change. Abra Cadabra! We still have a crisis. Break out the compact fluorescent light bulbs and new government taxes!

With that, progressive think tank  Scientific Hypothetical  Intellectual  Theory (S.H.I.T.), a group associated with Gore’s global warming efforts, released the stunning information that global warming may actually cause freezing temperatures.  For Gore supporters and global warming believers, this is yet just one more piece of conclusive evidence that the threat of global warming is very very very very real.

Jedidiah Suzuki, an activist working on legislation that will give squirrels and possums equal rights to America’s roads,  says that the new release of information has helped him clarify some recent questions, “It all makes sense. Lately I have been freezing my ass off.  It has been unusually cold. My cars doors have been freezing shut, pipes in neighborhood houses freezing. It’s crazy considering I live in Georgia. But when this study came out it all made sense. I mean what else could be causing such cold temperatures but warming?”

Another warm weather citizen, Mary Canary, is not surprised about the latest findings of S.H.I.T. and says this should finally close out the controversial argument. Canary, a professional psychic and palm reader from South Carolina, says she saw this coming “Well, I have always had a special sense about the aura of the planet ever since I was in the second grade. My teacher thought I was just looking for attention by making things up but I am really in touch with the psychic energy that emanates from the hot liquid magma near the core of the planet. Lots of people don’t know that, but I do…well, maybe Al Gore does too.  He has never needed any proof to spread the word about global warming. Anyway,  I wonder what the global warming deniers have to say about this now?  What is their explanation for the unusual freezing temperatures all over the place?”

To get the other side of the argument reporters spoke to Jake Kinsella, an engineer from Atlanta. “Yes, I have read the information.  I can’t understand how they get to their conclusion.  I am no scientific intellectual who relies on the funding of the people who have invested heavily in the population believing global warming theory in order to initiate a false economy and institute global policy, interventionist regulations and taxes but…when it is this cold I just don’t think it is a theoretical warming trend that is causing the drop in temperatures. I would say it’s probably the incremental weather patterns that have been going on throughout the planet’s existence. But what do I know?”

Clyde Ennison, a physicist specializing in earth’s cyclical patterns, has had a change of heart as of late and has been vocal in his support of this new finding. “After reviewing the data and my previous public comments prior to my termination, I have found that indeed global warming is the cause of freezing temperatures. Consider me part of the consensus.”

While people may be split down the middle on this issue, main stream news networks agree that global warming is the official story and the valid arguments of top scientists in opposition to global warming findings are completely irrelevant. They find that the billionaires who own the networks and have invested in pushing shitty products on people under false pretenses like it better when they talk of global warming theory as a foregone conclusion that will eventually cause the sky to fall.

The weather outside is certainly frightful and freezing. So remember it is cold outside, folks. You better bundle up. There is global warming out there.

Here is my assesment of Gibbs…Piece of shit.

He is pretty flip for a public servant of a country whose economy is completely fucked. By the way, the politicians fucked it up. Not Santelli. Not you. Not me.

Ignore America if you like dickhead…but America is pissed.

What a huge prick!

Tiger Woods, The Man the Sports Broadcast World Is Waiting To Blow.

Since Tiger’s leave from golf, sports broadcasters have basically ignored the sport altogether. They have made the decison for golf fans that the sport basically isn’t worth mention unless they have Tiger to worship like little girls  used to worship The New Kids on The Block.  It seems what these broadcasters who are anxious to blow Mr. Woods have failed to realize is that it is possible that people might actually like golf.

Ted, a real life golfer, was asked his thoughts about the reaction to Tiger’s return ” Well, you have to appreciate Tiger. The guy is truly amazing at the game of golf.  But when he was out I kept playing like I always did and watched all the tournaments I always have.  I think the people who stopped watching probably aren’t the real big fans of golf. They are really just people who like Tiger as a celebrity…or they are queer.”

Rob, a 35 year old who claims he is Tiger’s biggest fan, had a different take on Tiger’s return ” Tiger is what makes golf. What was golf before Tiger? When ESPN first started covering Tiger I was like ‘Tiger is going to change golf ‘. Not only was Tiger young but he got all ripped and proved golfers can be real athletes. Tiger has that cool red shirt and he is ripped…did I say that already? Anyway, Tiger is on a different level than everyone else and Tiger just made the game relevant.  Tiger is also a cool mix of ethnicity which apparently is relevant even though race isn’t supposed to matter… but ESPN can’t stop talking about how he is black. So, now I can show everyone that I embrace diversity or whatever. Tiger is the man. I freaking love Tiger.”

It is anticipated that viewership will increase for next week’s tournament. This clearly shows the impact that Tiger has had on golf and why sports networks are so eager to blow Woods.  It also shows that people really aren’ t golf fans, but Tiger fans. What else is evident is that the PGA is fucked when Tiger gets old or blows out his knee.

Note:   This story is not real. It is a joke. Just having some fun.

Republicans who Supported McCain Are Now Wishing They Were Not Such Dumb Shits.

Many true conservatives and even some republicans who had more than two neurons firing during the primaries knew what a warm cup of piss John McCain was and had warned people not to vote for him.   True conservatives argue that McCain was just a product of open-style primaries, such as in New Hampshire, where democrats can vote in the republican primary and did so in large numbers.

These folks argue that McCain was voted for by democrats because he was far and away the weakest candidate.  Once he got artificial momentum, the mainstream media pumped McCain up and the spineless GOP supporters just followed along like zombies say some.

Karen, a conservative from New Hampshire says ” I don’t know one person whose head is not up their ass that thought McCain or Obama was a good choice.  The GOP had a huge opportunity and they nominated an old popcorn fart that was no different than Obama except McCain probably has a better jump shot.”

Still others, such as Libertarians and independent conservatives, have a different point of view.  Richard, a free market Libertarian had this to say “Look.  Republicans…democrats…it’s all the same shit.  The best thing you can do is not vote at all. A vote in an election is a vote for their bullshit system. By the time republicans and democrats figure out that the battle of right and left is an illusion, they will be wondering where there hell their country went. But hey, right now…an opinion like mine is kooky to these sheep.  The one time this country had a guy who wanted to stand up for the people, liberty and the constitution what did they do? They called him crazy. “

One thing is for sure, republicans who supported John McCain were really fucking stupid.  Not only did he give his own party the middle finger, but he just sucked the big one.  Political analysts who are looking into the delayed reaction of the republicans who supported McCain are starting to understand this phenomenon.  Dr. Tom Paine, a professor of political science specializing in detecting and translating American political  bullshit, said it didn’t take long to see the pattern ” Well, you would have to be a little slow to vote for McCain in the first place.  To see that these voters are just coming around to how they were played is normal these days in America. Although republicans were slow to realize McCain was a horrendous choice for president, even slower are Obama supporters. They have yet to realize that Mr. Obama is more or less just like George Bush, only he is going to steal more of the working people’s money, increase the size of government even more, piss on free market capitalism and shit on liberty.”

Professor Paine followed up these bold statements with this “The funny thing is that the American people haven’t realized that both choices would have resulted in a terrible mess but spun by the propaganda machine a bit differently.”

Your Voice is Heard. A-Rod is a Huge Douche Bag.

Here are the top results:

1. He’s a huge douche bag
2. He is one more asshole steroid user ruining the game
3. Frosted Hair
4. He’s a terrible liar
5. He is rolling around in the sack with crusty Madonna
6. Designer jeans
7. He’s a NY Yankee
8. He’s not on the Boston Redsox
9. He can’t hit for shit in the playoffs
10. He looks like Joe Camel

After reviewing poll results, it is unclear just how many reasons there are to hate Alex Rodriguez. What is clear is that people really fucking hate him.

Werewolves of London

by Warren Zevon

There needs to be no long explanation of this song nor deep analysis.

This song is just cool. Enjoy.