Archive for the ‘Human Interest’ Category
Marriage Plans Destroyed After Failed Valentine’s Day Gift
(Warning: This contains adult language and content)
For David Wancken February 14th is not a day of celebration. It is a day of mourning. Unlike the thousands of losers who beat themselves up because they don’t have a love interest on an arbitrarily chosen day of the calendar by a greeting card compnay, Mr. Wancken has a special reason to wallow in sadness.
It is this day that reminds him of good intentions gone bad and a mistake that may haunt him for the rest of his life. Three years and 25 pounds ago Dave was in a wonderful relationship with , then fiance, Mona Onerneys. It was then when Mr. Wancken decided to that it would be great idea to get Mona blowjob lessons for Valentine’s Day.
It was at their favorite Mexican restaurant, La Cagadera, that Mona was presented with the romantic card that contained the certificate good for three one hour blowjob lessons. It was at this point this relationship started to sour. The gift was just too much for Mona Onerneys to swallow.
Ms. Onyerneys recalls the evening “It was so embarrassing. I remember jumping up out of my seat and calling him a fucking asshole. Seriously, how badly can a guy miss the point of Valentine’s day? I was expecting a romantic card with plane tickets to Hawaii or something…at least a certificate for a day at the spa. No instead there is oral sex lessons. No self-respecting woman could stay with a guy after that, right? Besides, I give great head. Just ask the guys in my neighborhood. “
