Sports Broadcasters Buy Knee Pads in Anticipation of Tiger’s Return
It seems the wait is over. Tiger Woods will be returning to golf. After a long layoff from golf due to injury, Tiger will be making his way back onto the links in his first tournament since his last tournament. Meanwhile, sports pundits and broadcasters are flocking to stores to purchase the kneed pads that they will be wearing next week when blowing Mr. Woods.
Tiger Woods, The Man the Sports Broadcast World Is Waiting To Blow.
Since Tiger’s leave from golf, sports broadcasters have basically ignored the sport altogether. They have made the decison for golf fans that the sport basically isn’t worth mention unless they have Tiger to worship like little girls used to worship The New Kids on The Block. It seems what these broadcasters who are anxious to blow Mr. Woods have failed to realize is that it is possible that people might actually like golf.
Ted, a real life golfer, was asked his thoughts about the reaction to Tiger’s return ” Well, you have to appreciate Tiger. The guy is truly amazing at the game of golf. But when he was out I kept playing like I always did and watched all the tournaments I always have. I think the people who stopped watching probably aren’t the real big fans of golf. They are really just people who like Tiger as a celebrity…or they are queer.”
Rob, a 35 year old who claims he is Tiger’s biggest fan, had a different take on Tiger’s return ” Tiger is what makes golf. What was golf before Tiger? When ESPN first started covering Tiger I was like ‘Tiger is going to change golf ‘. Not only was Tiger young but he got all ripped and proved golfers can be real athletes. Tiger has that cool red shirt and he is ripped…did I say that already? Anyway, Tiger is on a different level than everyone else and Tiger just made the game relevant. Tiger is also a cool mix of ethnicity which apparently is relevant even though race isn’t supposed to matter… but ESPN can’t stop talking about how he is black. So, now I can show everyone that I embrace diversity or whatever. Tiger is the man. I freaking love Tiger.”
It is anticipated that viewership will increase for next week’s tournament. This clearly shows the impact that Tiger has had on golf and why sports networks are so eager to blow Woods. It also shows that people really aren’ t golf fans, but Tiger fans. What else is evident is that the PGA is fucked when Tiger gets old or blows out his knee.
Note: This story is not real. It is a joke. Just having some fun.
