Stewart Gray’s Cool Song of The Week

Hey, folks. This week’s song of the week is…

Take Five

by Dave Brubeck Quartet

Want to hear more Dave Brubeck?

Drummer Joe Morello shows some real chops in that video.  I like his style.

You should get acquainted with some jazz if you aren’t. I am not a jazz snob or anything…just suggesting to the good people, my readers, that there is some great music in the jazz world.

You will see more jazz in the future of cool song of the week.  But not next week.  Where will go in the world of music next week?  Check back in to find out!

US Border Patrol Deals In Pepper Spray, Not Courtesy

Here is a nice little story about our awesome border patrol agents.  This story talks about a man who was visiting his second house in the state of Washington and encountered a border patrol agent who was being rude (no shit? Agents of the government being rude?.)

The United States is quickly becoming a police state. Have a nice day.

Anyway, this man when requesting the border patrol agent offer a little common courtesy was pepper sprayed.  That’ll show that stupid Candadian to lip off.  Spray him in the eyes with a caustic material and then hold him for a bully session for three hours.

Thanks for your services, assholes. I will sleep better at night knowing this is how you ensure national security.

New World Order “Kooks” Claim Newly Proposed Global Policies Show Intent Of Global Government Policies

Conspiracy theorists who have been claiming that powerful world elites have been planning a “new world order” intent on global government are still coming up with kooky claims.

For instance, The Drudge Report has posted two articles:

Obama Ready to Talk Global New Deal with UK PM, Security for Families in “Every Country”

The special relationship is going global by Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of England

What is wrong with these insane people who question the government?  Just because these articles clearly show the intent to move toward global policies by government doesn’t mean the government intends on establishing global policies.

Stewart Gray’s Cool Song of The Week

This week’s cool song of the week is….

King of The World

by Steely Dan

King of The World – Lyrics

This song is featured on Countdown to Ecstasy

I figure since the world is off its rocker and in a general state of madness, this is a fitting tune for the times from one of my favorite bands.  There will be more Steely Dan featured in my cool songs I am sure.

I can’t thank Steely Dan enough for being Steely Dan.  Thank you Mr. Fagen & Mr. Becker.

Global Warming Causing Freezing Temperatures, Experts Say

As the world seeks to learn more about the phenomenon known as global warming theory, experts seek to provide the public with more and more knowledge.  The latest release from global warming experts has some in panic, some puzzled and some still eating frozen fish sticks while watching Dancing with the Stars.

Global warming theory, the theory that human activity is causing the earth to warm to environmentally dangerous levels was made popular by Al Gore shortly after he invented the internet.   This is precisely the reason many believe in the theory.  A man that can invent the internet in his spare time while being a career politician and then turn around and know the human activity is ruining the planet without conducting any science of his own is obviously a man people must trust for information of this magnitude.

Global warming deniers claim that because global warming cannot explain a trend opposite to that of global warming theory, global warming theorists and believers have conveniently changed the name of global warming to global climate change. Abra Cadabra! We still have a crisis. Break out the compact fluorescent light bulbs and new government taxes!

With that, progressive think tank  Scientific Hypothetical  Intellectual  Theory (S.H.I.T.), a group associated with Gore’s global warming efforts, released the stunning information that global warming may actually cause freezing temperatures.  For Gore supporters and global warming believers, this is yet just one more piece of conclusive evidence that the threat of global warming is very very very very real.

Jedidiah Suzuki, an activist working on legislation that will give squirrels and possums equal rights to America’s roads,  says that the new release of information has helped him clarify some recent questions, “It all makes sense. Lately I have been freezing my ass off.  It has been unusually cold. My cars doors have been freezing shut, pipes in neighborhood houses freezing. It’s crazy considering I live in Georgia. But when this study came out it all made sense. I mean what else could be causing such cold temperatures but warming?”

White House Press Secretary Gibbs vs Santelli – I Choose Santelli

Gibbs is a government guy. Last time I checked, the governments and politicians have been lying to us forever.

Here is my assesment of Gibbs…Piece of shit.

He is pretty flip for a public servant of a country whose economy is completely fucked. By the way, the politicians fucked it up. Not Santelli. Not you. Not me.

Ignore America if you like dickhead…but America is pissed.

What a huge prick!

Sports Broadcasters Buy Knee Pads in Anticipation of Tiger’s Return

It seems the wait is over. Tiger Woods will be returning to golf.  After a long layoff from golf due to injury, Tiger will be making his way back onto the links in his first tournament since his last tournament.  Meanwhile, sports pundits and broadcasters are flocking to stores to purchase the kneed pads that they will be wearing next week when blowing Mr. Woods.

Tiger Woods, The Man the Sports Broadcast World Is Waiting To Blow.

Since Tiger’s leave from golf, sports broadcasters have basically ignored the sport altogether. They have made the decison for golf fans that the sport basically isn’t worth mention unless they have Tiger to worship like little girls  used to worship The New Kids on The Block.  It seems what these broadcasters who are anxious to blow Mr. Woods have failed to realize is that it is possible that people might actually like golf.

Ted, a real life golfer, was asked his thoughts about the reaction to Tiger’s return ” Well, you have to appreciate Tiger. The guy is truly amazing at the game of golf.  But when he was out I kept playing like I always did and watched all the tournaments I always have.  I think the people who stopped watching probably aren’t the real big fans of golf. They are really just people who like Tiger as a celebrity…or they are queer.”

Republicans Just Starting To Realize Supporting McCain Was Stupid

As the Obama administration begins to lay the groundwork to destroy America as we know it, republicans across the country are just starting to realize how stupid they were for supporting John McCain.  Middle class Americans who will be bent over and violated by Obama’s big government nightmare are beginning to feel deeply what a mistake it was to support such a steaming pile of a candidate.

Republicans who Supported McCain Are Now Wishing They Were Not Such Dumb Shits.

Many true conservatives and even some republicans who had more than two neurons firing during the primaries knew what a warm cup of piss John McCain was and had warned people not to vote for him.   True conservatives argue that McCain was just a product of open-style primaries, such as in New Hampshire, where democrats can vote in the republican primary and did so in large numbers.

These folks argue that McCain was voted for by democrats because he was far and away the weakest candidate.  Once he got artificial momentum, the mainstream media pumped McCain up and the spineless GOP supporters just followed along like zombies say some.

Karen, a conservative from New Hampshire says ” I don’t know one person whose head is not up their ass that thought McCain or Obama was a good choice.  The GOP had a huge opportunity and they nominated an old popcorn fart that was no different than Obama except McCain probably has a better jump shot.”

Mind Stew Poll: Why We Hate A-Rod

In a recent poll, the staff of Mind Stew asked people just like you why they hate Alex Rodriguez of the NY Yankees.

Your Voice is Heard. A-Rod is a Huge Douche Bag.

Here are the top results:

1. He’s a huge douche bag
2. He is one more asshole steroid user ruining the game
3. Frosted Hair
4. He’s a terrible liar
5. He is rolling around in the sack with crusty Madonna
6. Designer jeans
7. He’s a NY Yankee
8. He’s not on the Boston Redsox
9. He can’t hit for shit in the playoffs
10. He looks like Joe Camel

After reviewing poll results, it is unclear just how many reasons there are to hate Alex Rodriguez. What is clear is that people really fucking hate him.

Stewart Gray’s Cool Song of The Week

For the first installment of Stewart Gray’s Cool Song of The Week I  proudly present:

Werewolves of London

by Warren Zevon

There needs to be no long explanation of this song nor deep analysis.

This song is just cool. Enjoy.